We all have had experiences where we have been hurt by others in some ways. Whether you had a highly critical parent growing up or bullying experience in school or maybe you had a traumatic experience of being mentally or physically abused by someone close to you. These experiences can have a deep psychological impact on your mental and physical health. They can fuel resentment, bitterness, anger and even hatred in extreme cases. Holding on to the pain and bitterness impacts you more seriously than you think.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger we feel towards a person or a situation. Forgiveness means letting go and healing the inner wounds within yourself. When we embrace forgiveness, we embrace a feeling of peace and love.
But why is it necessary to forgive?
Forgiveness is a choice. It is essential to move forward in life. Otherwise there will be a feeling of being stuck in the past. When we focus on the past and keep ruminating, our life feels stagnant. The cycle of negativity ends when you begin to forgive others and most importantly yourself. You become free of the burden you had been carrying. You feel lighter and free to progress in your life. You feel free like never before.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" - Lewis B. Smedes
What is forgiveness on a deeper level?
You forgive yourself and others not to perpetuate the bad behavior or action, instead you forgive and let go to protect your mental health & peace. Forgiving does not mean to forget or excuse the harm done to you. It means to consciously free yourself from the shackles of the past. Choosing to forgive is a much healthier and better choice you make than to hold on to the grudges. Holding on to what no longer serves you makes you heavy with burden. Forgiveness sets you free. Now the past situation or person no longer holds power over you. When you forgive, you regain your innate colossal power.
Why is forgiveness is difficult?
When you experience deep hurt, it is often difficult to forgive. You feel someone destroyed your life or entire future. It is easy to get trapped in the victimhood mentality and playing the blame game. Deciding to forgive nevertheless brings us out of the victim mentality.
Feel the anger, don't suppress it. Allow yourself to grieve and process the situation. Get the emotions out of your system by bringing awareness to them. This might take some time. There are several ways to do this - work with a life coach, engage in talk therapy, practice meditation, affirmations, journaling etc.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
Forgiveness leads to empathy and compassion towards ourselves and people who hurt us. Forgiveness helps to -
- Makes you feel empowered
- Improve your mental and physical health
- Better your relationships
- Reduces stress
- Gain freedom from the past
- Live in the present moment
- Cultivate self-awareness
